Human Standards
by 9haharharley1
Summary: TaGr. Tak is back on Earth and it seems as though her sights are set on a new target: Gaz. Gets a bit citrusy towards the end. Title subject to change, rating to be safe, and I may continue it.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Invader Zim. Jhonen would kill me if I did.

**Warnings: **Femslash. GaTr. Characters are a little OOC, and things start to get a bit citrusy towards the end. DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ. Title may change.

Everyone else, enjoy!

This isn't the greatest thing I've written, btw.

* * *

Her disguise was as simple as just upgrading the original to appear older. Her hair was still navy in color, eyes still purple. She was slightly taller than Zim and Gaz but shorter than Dib. And she was lying on Dib's couch.

Really, he shouldn't have been surprised.

"Tak?" And yet, he was. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Tak slowly pulled her eyes away from the television where old reruns of Mysterious Mysteries were about to start. Dib had been on his way down from his room to watch it only to be greeted by his unexpected house guest.

"My, my, Dib," she cooed. Her eyes were lidded heavily as she gazed up at him. "You've grown up to be quite the specimen." Dib blushed; face heating further as she licked her lips. "No wonder Zim wants you on a dissection table so bad. I would just love to look inside that wonderful body of yours and see what makes it tick."

And the creepy levels spiked to all new levels. Whatever crush had left over from his childhood immediately dissipated and he glared at the female Irkan. It was one thing when Zim threatened him with vaguely sexual fantasies. It was another entirely when it was Tak.

The human crossed his arms, glaring and trying to come across as threatening. "What do you want, Tak?" he demanded. Her bored look told him that he wasn't succeeding.

Tak let out an exasperated sigh, leaning back on the couch cushions and propping her feet up on the coffee table. "Not that it's any of your business, but if you must know I, much like the incompetent Zim, have been banished from the empire. This was the first planet I thought of that wasn't under Irkan rule and so here I am."

"So, what, you're just going to take up residence here?" asked Dib. He was having trouble processing that Tak would have been banished; she was a great invader! If Dib and Zim hadn't teamed up she would have easily taken over the planet. Then again, maybe that was the failure that got her exiled in the first place. "You don't seem too heartbroken about it."

The alien shrugged, fake human eyes staring at the pictures on TV with a hollow look. "I'll get over it. I'm an Irkan. We only become stronger with defeat."

"Or you break apart completely," muttered Dib, taking a seat next to the alien on the couch. Tak turned her head sharply to glare at him. Dib simply shrugged off her anger. Zim's glare was a hundred times more terrifying when angry and he'd grown used to those. She did not faze him. "Zim didn't take his banishment quite so well."

"Oh? So the moron finally realized that this was exile and not a mission?" She snickered.

"I'd appreciate it if you weren't quite so rude," Dib stated coolly, arms crossed. "He is the only other one of your kind on the planet."

Tak's laughter cut short. She took in her old foe with inquisitive eyes. "And when did you become chummy with your so-called enemy?"

Dib looked away from her, instead paying attention to his favorite show. "A lot has changed in the years that you've been away," he said with a smile.

"I'll say," Tak grumbled. "You're taller."

Dib had inherited his father's height, something that annoyed Zim to no end. He'd also gained a few piercings in both ears and his right eyebrow. The human just grinned. "And your accent got thicker."

"Has it?" Tak paused, considering his words. She looked down at her lap. "I wasn't aware that I had one…"

Dib chuckled. Tak grinned.

They sat in silence, watching Mysterious Mysteries but not really paying attention to the words being said. Minutes went by until the human finally broke the silence.

"You can remove the hologram, you know?" he said. Tak glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "It's not like I don't already know that you're an alien. Gaz knows, and she doesn't care; she'll be home soon anyway. Dad won't be home for hours. You might as well."

Tak snorted as she reached up to tap her earing. "Well, aren't you so very casual about it?" The hologram flickered away, revealing her true Irkan form underneath.

"It's not I haven't seen Zim out of disguise a million times," he said. All the same, she was not Zim and the scientist in him couldn't help but study the female.

Their basic genetic structure was similar, Dib knew. They had the skeleton, the heart, and squidly-spooch, and their outward appearance wasn't too dissimilar. Tak was a shade darker in skin tone and she had a slightly softer appearance than the male, a small similarity shared between Irkan females and human females. Zim's antennae fell in a delicate swoop, having grown to reach his shoulder blades when pressed flat on his head. Tak's were shorter, the ends curling in spirals, something he assumed most of the female population shared on Irk (he had hacked Zim's database once and found documents on the other invaders, including an Invader Tenn). Zim had no hair on his body, but Tak (and Tenn) had eyelashes, or at least something similar, giving her eyes a sharper look. Her deep violet eyes contrasted nicely with her darker green skin so they stood out, but the piercing in her head tore attention away from their loveliness. When she had been shorter, Tak had no curves. Now she had a bit of a figure, hips just noticeable with the slightest bump to her chest.

"You're staring," she said, not taking her eyes off the TV. "And you Earthlings have the most boring entertainment."

Dib snapped out of his reverie. "And what classifies as entertainment on Irk?"

"Besides conquering planets?" She stilled, eyes going to the ceiling in thought. "Well… On Filis 6, the slavers would host a Tournament of Freedom for their slaves. It was basically a fight to the death, and the winner gained freedom for life from slavery for him and his family. Brutal, but it's all good fun."

The human raised an eyebrow. "We have bull fighting."

Tak yawned. "Boring."

It didn't even strike Dib as odd that he was having a completely casual conversation about slavery and death fights with an old alien enemy on his couch, in his living room, while watching a television show about the paranormal. Stranger things had happened.

By the time the credits rolled for Mysterious Mysteries the front door opened. Dib quickly glanced over, sighing as it was only Gaz walking through the door. The angry teen had a scowl on her pretty face, which was framed by purple hair. Her eyeliner was heavy and her many piercings glinted in the light. Her combat boots landed with a _thud_ as she kicked them off. She was carrying a pizza box.

"What happened?" the older brother asked, having learned over the years the difference between annoyance and outright anger with her. He wouldn't have asked if she was angry.

"The damn pizza place was packed with annoying-ass children," Gaz grunted. She glanced over at the couch, pausing in her stomp to the kitchen at the sight of the alien who _was_ _not _Zim sitting on the couch. Her glare grew double fold. "What the hell is she doing here? Did you and Zim break up?"

Dib flushed as Tak's attention flew to him, antennae perking in curiosity. She narrowed one violet eye and smirked. "You and Zim? Please tell me she's kidding! Why would you ever want to be with an annoying little bug like him? He's incompetent!"

The human's blush grew ten-fold, but a deep-seated rage slowly built at every word out of the alien's mouth. She was practically cackling in her amusement.

"He stopped you, didn't he?" he muttered quietly.

Tak paused. She glared at the human. "So it's true then? You and Zim are mates?"

"I wouldn't call it that…" Dib trailed.

"Yes, they are," Gaz stated. The pizza now sat on the side table by the couch and her arms were crossed. "And if I recall that whole scenario correctly, he was also the one that screwed up your stupid robot." The room seemed to grow darker, one of the lights flickering. Gaz glared threateningly at Tak and the Irkan female practically cowered. "Don't forget you're on a planet full of water, in a house full of meat, and I will not hesitate to use it on you if you step out of line, _Tak_." Her name was said with no small degree of icy hatred. Flames burned in amber eyes and Tak felt her respect for the human girl grow.

Gaz had been a worthy warrior in the past; having easily infiltrated Tak's base and managing to attack her with primitive Earth food. Tak had been humiliated by the easy defeat, not at all expecting the Earth soda to burn so bad. But her respect for Gaz outweighed her humiliation. Even now, the Earth girl's aura commanded respect from those around her, including her older sibling unit. Tak was in complete awe of her.

The purple-haired human continued to glare at the Irkan, but when it became apparent that Tak was completely zoned out, she dropped her aggressive stance. She picked up the pizza and made her way to the kitchen. Dib glanced briefly at Tak, but she didn't even acknowledge him, so he stood and followed his sister into the kitchen.

Gaz was rummaging around in the cabinet for glasses when he entered, her back to him. She had to stand on her toes to reach, having not inherited their dad's height like Dib had.

"Make yourself useful and grab some plates," she demanded.

Dib did as he was told. She was really in a mood now and it was best not to antagonize. "Should I grab another one for our… guest?"

"She can get her own damn plate if she's hungry," was her angry answer.

Dib shrugged and just grabbed two. When he turned around, he yelped, completely not expecting Gaz to be standing behind him. She glowered at him, arms crossed and eyebrow twitching. Dib clutched the plates close as he breathed heavily. "Don't do that!"

Her eyebrow twitched again. "Alright, seriously, what the hell is she doing here?"

Dib cowered before his little sister, hiding half of his face behind the plates. "How should I know? I was up in my room and came down to watch Mysterious Mysteries and there she was! I thought you let her in at first, but remembered you had gone out." He gulped, lowering the plates when he wasn't immediately attacked. "She said she was banished from the Empire and that Earth was the first place she thought to come to."

Gaz's stiff posture relaxed slightly, but she continued to glare. It wasn't as heated, and her arms stayed crossed. "So she's not trying to invade the planet?"

"No…" mumbled Dib. He raised a pierced eyebrow. "Why?"

"Because, unlike Zim, she's actually competent enough to take over." She took the plates from Dib's hands and set about handing out slices of pizza; two for each of them.

"I really don't think she would try," admitted Dib, going over and grabbing his plate. He took a seat at the table with his sister. "She doesn't have anywhere else to go."

"She's not staying here," Gaz deadpanned.

"Why would I want to?" a voice from the entryway asked. Gaz and Dib both turned to see Tak standing there, eyes narrowed. "I have technology similar to Zim's. I can set up my own base of operations. I don't need to rely on stinking humans."

"Oh, goody, you're already starting to sound like Zim," Gaz drawled with a small smirk.

Dib glanced back and forth between the two females as he ate. It took a moment to realize that they were baiting each other, waiting to see who would snap first. That's when he noticed Gaz's free hand not holding her pizza was hidden away under the table where he knew a baseball bat was duct-taped to the underside. He quickly finished his pizza and stood. "I'm going to Zim's! You two play nice!" With that, he darted out of the room, putting on his boots and grabbing his coat off the rack before bolting out the door.

Gaz and Tak continued to glare. A tense silence filled the room. After a few minutes, Tak finally spoke.

"You poured soda on me," she accused.

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "You tried to fill the core of my planet with snacks. I think that's a fair trade." Her grip on the bat tightened.

Tak inclined her head with a small smile. "Touché." She glanced around the kitchen, spotting the pizza bow and striding over to it. Gaz followed her with a scowl. Tak took a slice, picking off the meat products before taking a bite. "That's not bad at all," she murmured. She grinned at the human. "I could get used to this planet." She walked over to the table, taking Dib's spot across from Gaz, munching on her pizza.

"Well, try not to get used to my house." Gaz was glowering. "Can't you go set up your base or something?"

The alien pouted. "But then I would miss the pleasure of your company," she whined. The look on the human teen's face told her that her presence was anything but pleasurable. Well, that would have to change, seeing as Tak was enjoying the torment. And it was nice being around another female for a change. Dib was nice and all, but Gaz was so much more interesting. Her apparent loathing for Tak was starting to rise to the same level Zim and Dib's loathing for each other had been. She was finding it most entertaining.

"Your just trying to piss me off," Gaz accused, finally pulling the bat free of its bindings. She rested it in her lap, hand wrapped firmly around the handle.

Tak shrugged. "That's your problem." She eyed the weapon with a look of boredom. "You know that's not going to do anything, right?"

Suddenly, Gaz was wishing Dib hadn't left. She didn't deal with aliens. She wasn't used to them like her older brother was. The teen's interaction with them was limited to Zim and Gir, but that didn't really count because Zim was always with her brother when she spoke to him, and she avoided Gir like the plague. The baseball bat gave her some semblance of security with the Irkan, but Tak was right; if she was anything at all like Zim then she could easily defend herself from so pathetic a human weapon. Sheer intimidation obviously wasn't working on Tak.

"Can't you go bother somebody else?" shouted Gaz, slamming her hands on the table and standing in a rage. Fire blazed in her golden amber eyes. Tak looked on in amusement, calmly finishing her slice of pizza. Gaz huffed, turning and walking out of the room.

Tak narrowed one eye questioningly, quickly standing to follow the human girl. No wonder Zim and Dib chased each other around; this was kind of fun!

She smirked as she followed the sixteen-year-old still holding her bat. Gaz stomped her way into the living room, pass the couch and towards the stairs. Tak followed her up, smirking all the while. She could practically see the human's aggravation growing, shoulders tense, grip tightening on the bat.

"Your reactions are far too entertaining for me to leave you alone," said the alien. They were walking upstairs now. "I mean, I could go away, but that's no fun. I need some one-on-one girl time."

"You're talking to the wrong girl," Gaz muttered. If it wasn't for Tak's advanced hearing, she wouldn't have heard it.

"Wrong girl or no, you are quite fascinating," admitted the alien.

The purple-haired human paused, back rigid. Tak stopped inches behind her.

"Why don't you -" Gaz whirled around, swinging the bat, but was clearly not expecting the close proximity of the Irkan. Tak easily caught the weapon in one four-fingered hand. She narrowed her eyes at the slightly shorter human girl as Gaz's widened. Then she was glaring, struggling in her captor's grip, who's hold only tightened. "Let me go," Gaz growled.

Tak smirked. "I don't think so. Unless you're going to be nice to me?" Her grip was bruising, gloved claws digging into the soft flesh of Gaz's wrist. Gaz dropped the bat, latching onto the hand restraining her and digging her own nails into Tak's arm. Tak practically mewled, antennae laying flush against her head.

"Let me go," the human demanded, voice firm and uncompromising as she dug her nails deeper.

The Irkan continued to smirk. "No." She took of Gaz's free arm and ripped it away, backing the human up and pinning her to the wall. Five dark blue welts blossomed on Tak's skin.

The females glared at each other, one smirking, and the other completely not amused. Gaz's arms were pinned up by her head, claws digging just so into the veins in her wrist. She didn't struggle, but her anger and annoyance were clearly obvious.

"Now," Tak started, leaning in close, "I can let you go, and you can be a good human girl and amuse me to my heart's content. Or you can continue to struggle and I can make you bleed to my heart's content. You can choose."

"What brought this on?" Gaz raised an eyebrow, tone curious.

Tak shrugged. "You poured soda on me. It hurt. So I'm hurting you."

Gaz deadpanned. "Seriously? That's what this is about? Geez, Dib was right. You Irkans get pissy over the stupidest things."

She winced, one of the claws digging in just enough to draw the tiniest hint of blood. Gaz bit her tongue so as not to spew out too many insults, feet digging into the carpet.

"I believe the Earth term for it is 'an eye for an eye.'" Tak withdrew the digit. "You were saying?"

Gaz's glare was fierce, but she bit her tongue once more and turned her head. The stupid alien would get no more out of her.

Tak scowled. She transferred both of Gaz's hands to her left hand and took hold of the teen's face with the other. "Look at me," she demanded with a hiss, the girl's cheeks pinched in her claw. Gaz just glared.

Oh, her feistiness was doing all manner of ill things to Tak's libido. It was quite refreshing. Most of the men and women she'd been with put up a fight, but never enough. Gaz, while not an Irkan and certainly not able to take what an Irkan could give, was definitely putting up enough of a fight to keep Tak interested.

"Playing hard to get, I see," she mumbled, stroking her fingers over Gaz's smooth cheeks. Gaz tried to jerk her chin away but Tak held fast. "I love when they play hard to get. It makes everything so much more fun."

Comprehension slowly dawned on the teen's face and her amber eyes widened. "Wait… are you…"

"Ah, now you understand." Tak smirked, reveling in the wide-eyed shock on the pale human's face. "I wonder how often people are able to stun you. You don't seem to shock easily. Should I take pride in being able to do so?" Her voice was a low purr now, sending shivers down Gaz's spine, but the teen recovered quickly. She ignored the heat pooling in her belly.

"Congratulations," she huffed, glaring once more. "Now would you let me go?" She tugged her hands or emphasis, but Tak held fast.

The Irkan pouted. "You're no fun." But the look vanished and the toothy smirk was back as a spider leg emerged from her PAK. "But that's all right." The leg latched onto Gaz's wrists so Tak could have both hands free.

Her now free hand trailed lightly down the human's side, sending shivers up Gaz's spine. The hand on her cheek smoothed over her chin to rest around her neck. Tak squeezed, the human's breath catching in her throat. Tak's face softened even as Gaz glared as she choked for air.

"You humans are so soft…" she whispered, letting up on the pressure. Gaz inhaled deeply, going slack in her bonds. "You're so squishy…" The hand on her hip roved over the purple-haired girl's belly, making her twitch, before trailing up to the mounds of flesh on her chest. The Irkan cupped her hand over one of the mounds, face open with wonder and squeezed softly.

Gaz gasped softly.

Irkan females had small breasts that did not grow very large, and were not that soft. Gaz's were slightly bigger than Tak's and way softer and squishier. And she made lovely sounds when they were squeezed.

Tak wasn't expecting the growl. Or the profanities.

Or the kick to the stomach.

The attack took her by surprise, the spider leg losing its grip and retracting back into her PAK as she lost her hold on the human. Tak retreated to the opposite wall, holding her midsection and breathing hard. That was right in the squidly-spooch

Tak gazed up through squinted, leaky eyes at the human girl. Gaz was growling and glaring, holding her offended breast protectively with one hand, while the other clenched tightly in a fist. She was digging one of her socked feet into the ground.

"I don't know how you do things on Irk, but here we don't just pin people to the wall and molest them without some sort of consent. I was being docile. If I would have known you were going to take it that far, you wouldn't have been able to hold me long enough to take out the metal legs. I'm not some two-cent whore you can play with to your heart's content." Gaz crossed her arms, amber eyes ablaze.

Tak scrambled for purchase, still holding her stomach with one arm. "Apologies," she muttered. "I forgot myself."

Well, the apology was certainly unexpected. Gaz narrowed her eyes.

"I forgot that you were a bit of a warrior in your younger years," Tak continued, respect in her violet eyes. Gaz raised an eyebrow. "You had managed to wound me, and with a beverage no less. And even when I was briefly friends with the Dib human he spoke highly of you." She grinned. "You fascinate me. My desire to keep you to myself outweighed my senses. I am sorry." She bowed respectively.

Gaz huffed. That was definitely unexpected. She was being courted be an alien. Stranger things had happened.

"I… _guess_ I forgive you," grumbled Gaz. Tak nodded and stood up straight, wincing only a little. "But I'm not apologizing."

Tak nodded. "Fair enough."

"If you want to... appeal yourself to me," Gaz paused. She couldn't believe she was about to say this. "You'll have to go about it the human way."

Tak grimaced. The very idea of lowering herself to the standards of another species was disgusting, but to be able to claim the ferocity that was Gaz would be worth it. So she sucked up her pride (it had been missing since she was assigned janitorial duty , anyway) and inclined her head, antennae lowering submissively. "And how do I go about this the human way?"

Gaz smirked. "Well…"

Dib arrived home much later that night to the sound of his dad snoring on the couch and the news playing in the background. One eye was bruised under his glasses and many red teeth marks littered his neck. He reached a hand up to cover them, smiling pleasantly to himself as he crept by the sleeping professor and up the stairs.

A brief mention of the female Irkan at his house had sent Zim in a rage, causing one or two more fights than usual only for them to make up rather… passionately on the couch in Zim's living room. Dib had felt bad leaving his younger sister alone with Tak, but those thoughts had been driven away by Irkan claws digging into his back and hips. But since there was no blood to be located in the house so far, things must have ended well between them. At least, not violently.

He snuck a quick peak through his sister's open bedroom door, just to check and make sure she was alive. The sight that greeted him made his eyes widen.

The light of her small television illuminated the form of Dib's little sister, curled up on her bed, fully clothed with a game controller laying inches from her hand. A glove covered arm was wrapped around her waist, claws curled loosely around Gaz's belly. Tak's face was buried in purple curls, breathing deeply the scent of Gaz. Both females looked more relaxed than Dib had ever seen them, especially Gaz. She even had a small smile playing on her lips. Another game controller lay by the arm Gaz's head was resting on.

Dib smiled. It looked like he really didn't need to worry about another alien taking over the planet.

* * *

Gaz and Tak are surprisingly difficult to write for…

I realize that these two never kiss, so I may continue it for just that reason.

Tell me if you think I should!


End file.
